Soooooooo, things are not getting better with the "roid" even after the horror in the doctor's office. Went back in to see Dr. Laura today. She took one look and said...."You have clotted up again, let me go get the needle to numb you up".
WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF?
"No no no no no!" I yelled.
"I'm sorry baby, sometimes we have to have open windows for this " (by open windows she meant open wound, let bleed, open wound again, let bleed).
"I CAN NOT DO THIS DR. LAURA".
Dr. Laura put her hand on her hip , looked at me in a frustrated way and let out a long sigh.
"Kelly I am going to let you go home, but you'll need to come see me tomorrow to do this".
"Is there a chance it will be better by tomorrow?" I asked.
"Small chance". She said.
When I was leaving, I stopped at her desk...
"Dr. Laura, I felt it, It really seems impossible that all this carnage is going to shrink back up and be sucked back in to where it belongs. I read that large roids can stretch out the skin and leave "flaps" down there. Am I ever going to look the same down there?"
"Kelly...." she said as she looked at me , like a momma looking at her child in a stern yet loving way..."I can not promise that".
I immediately had visions of me, floating in the air, totally naked, arm flab and new "ass roid flab" waving in the wind in unison.
"Well, I said to her, looking down at the ground , feeling quite hopeless, "two vaginas..you know? I mean, surely there is a market for that out there, some niche in the sexual fetish world, maybe I can make some money off this baby".
Dr. Laura laughed and said "Any guy would love two clits".
WTF????????????? Did my doctor seriously just use that word? HAHAHHAHA. To be continued.
No comments:
Post a Comment